Details

So in my English class we've been learning about how to use detail in your writing. Instead of using a generalization like, "it tasted good", you can use details about the way it tasted. You can say if it was salty or sweet, what it tasted like, etc. Then my teacher asked us to each write our own paragraphs that start with a generalization, but then they expand with detail. My generalization was "the room was messy." Not that it was based off my room or anything... well maybe parts of it... or most of it... Anyway, here it is:

Journal #15
The room was messy. There were clothes lying all over the floor and the bed. The desk was covered with paper and candy wrappers. The garbage was knocked over, spilling onto the ground. The closet was wide open, and everything was falling out. The clothes inside were all piled on the floor. The blankets on the bed were all over the place. The pillows had fallen off the bed to the ground. Last night's homework was scattered around on the blankets. The clothes hamper was so full it looked like it was about to tip over. The dresser drawers were open and filled with junk. Make-up was scattered all around the mirror. The basement air smelled like a jumble of old perfume, lotion, and nail polish. A big pile of earrings and necklaces were spilled out onto the dresser, and they were all tangled together. Bobby pins were all over the carpet, which really needed vacuuming. An old glass of water was wobbling a little on top of a pile of books. The shelves were filled with clutter that needed to be thrown away. Underneath the bed there were matchless socks, papers, junk, and lost jewelry. There were cobwebs inside of the light fixtures and in the corners. Towels were hung on the back of the chair. And right in the middle of it all, tangled in the mess of bed covers, someone was breathing slowly, asleep.

You'll be really happy to know that I just cleaned my room yesterday. It's a lot better. I threw away most of the stuff on my desk, made my bed, and picked up all my dirty clothes. I did exaggerate a little, though. I don't leave water in my room because there might be earwigs. The cobwebs are there, which is freaking me out, and I need to remember to get my dad to dust them out. I don't stuff anything under my bed, because if I ever need to get it out of there then there might be a spider on it. But the rest of it was pretty real.... Anyway, it was a fun assignment because I really just like writing. And I hate when people make generalizations. I like to know all the details. I want to know who, what, when, where, and why. It's all really important to me both when I'm reading and writing. That's why I liked this assignment a little more than some of my others. Because when it comes to some things, readers don't really want to leave it to their imaginations. Detail is important.